Last Friday, I woke up and got an iced mocha and jalapeño kolache from my favorite local bakery. It was my grandfather’s 81st birthday, so I picked up some barbecue, then popped into HEB for a birthday cake and went to celebrate with him. I went out with my friends for a drink and dinner, and thought excitedly about what restaurant or store I might want to explore for this week’s blog. It was a lovely Friday.

Today is Thursday.

It hasn’t even been a week.

All bars, restaurants and nonessential stores have closed their doors. There’s a city ordinance prohibiting more than 10 people from gathering together. Classes have moved to online for the rest of the semester and dorms are being cleared. A trip to the grocery store won’t result in restocking your household with toilet paper, but it could result in life-threatening illness.

There’s a global pandemic, Texas is in a state of disaster, and here I am writing a blog about local exploration.

Quite frankly, writing a blog post is fucking hard for me right now.

My mind is elsewhere.

My mind is busy dealing with the fact that it won’t be safe for me to visit my grandparents for the rest of the season, maybe longer. It’s busy figuring out how to deal with anxiety and depression while being cooped up in the house. It’s busy worrying about the people who served us drinks last Friday, and everyone else, who may not have a job today. It’s busy thinking about the HEB employees who are working hard, risking their lives to make sure people can purchase things they need to live.

My mind is busy with overwhelming concern about this big, new threat to public health. It’s busy thinking about the overcrowded hospitals, the lack of ventilators and the absence of testing. It’s busy feeling heartbreak for the doctors who signed up to be heroes, but instead, are having to choose who lives and who dies.

My mind is busy wondering when the COVID-19 pandemic will end and when peace of mind will begin.

But even though my mind is busy, and the world is drowning in collective panic, life goes on. So here I am, forcing myself to write. Writing not only to get a grade for my class, but to document my story and provide some form of entertainment for others.

There will have to be indefinite changes made to this blog.

We’ll have to get creative as far as finding places to go. Many places aren’t safe and lifestyle changes are being made. I’m no longer a local tourist. I’m a local trying to stay sane in a pandemic.

I’ll be back soon with posts about surviving in this very weird time. For now, I encourage everyone to practice social distancing, try to stay healthy, and keep your head up.

There’s been a lot of unnerving changes in a short amount of time, but we are all in this together. We will get through it.